


I Only Had Three Rules

by usachanbeccer



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Fluffy, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I wrote this instead of studying, Lance (Voltron) is a Dork, Lance is a total romantic, Pidge is a nerd, Tags May Change, pidgance, this doesn't relate to my other college au fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-13
Updated: 2017-02-04
Packaged: 2018-09-08 08:11:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8837113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/usachanbeccer/pseuds/usachanbeccer
Summary: Pidge only had three rules: 1) Only 5 romantic gestures a day, 2) She gets to pick the car music for all eternity, and 3) No falling in love. By the end of the week, Lance would have broken each of these rules, and Pidge didn't seem to mind.
A.K.A. the fake dating Pidgance AU no one asked for, but I'm delivering. Merry Christmas.





	1. The Set Up

**Author's Note:**

> I'm no hero, I wrote a fake dating au because no one else had (that I've seen). And I needed one. Guys, please give this ship more love.  
> Oh btw, this does not relate at all to my other college au for these dork muffins.

The last thing Pidge needed was more drama in her life, and yet Lance decided the perfect gift to get her for Christmas was exactly that.

 

“Pidge, you gotta help me!” Lance pleaded as he slid into the open seat at the lunch table. His eyes wide with urgency, but knowing the Cuban boy, Pidge knew it wasn’t really that urgent.

 

“What did you do this time?” Pidge sighed, at least willing to hear the boy out. Hunk shook his head, trying to warn her, but Lance barreled over the large boy with his story before Pidge could see.

 

“Okay, so you know how I’m going back home to Utah for Christmas? Because I haven’t been home since summer break? Well, I was talking to my mom about the trip and long story short I may have said I have a girlfriend?” 

 

Pidge choked on the Sprite she had been drinking, coughing and hacking as she tried to process what Lance was telling her. 

 

Lance needed a girlfriend? He was asking her to be his girlfriend, in the least romantic way possible. Her friend, her  _ best friend  _ (besides Matt) was asking her to not only date him but to meet his parents? For Christmas? She must be having a heart attack this was not how things happen in any world whatsoever. 

 

“Whoa, Pidge you alright?” Hunk asked, giving the girl a few pats on the back to help her out. She waved the boy off with a nod. She tried to compose herself as she thought this through.

 

Lance was her best friend. Fact. Lance was telling her that he needed a girlfriend. Fact. Lance had asked her for help at the start of the conversation. Fact. In conclusion, Lance had asked her to be his girlfriend. 

 

“Lance why are you asking me to be you-”

 

“Hold on, I’m not done.” Lance held up a finger and pulled out his phone, “just listen to what my mom said after I told her that.”

 

“Oh this oughta be good,” Hunk stated dryly as he took a long sip from his drink.

 

Lance shot him a glare before reading off the text message, “‘I’m so happy for you! Tell me is it that small one from all your photos?’-he means you, Pidge- ‘she is a cutie’.” Lance looked up in time to see Pidge roll her eyes at the short comment.

 

“Okay, so she thinks it’s me and obviously that means I have to do it, right?” 

 

“Exactly! You understand completely! I need you to be my fake girlfriend!” Lance beamed, pocketing his phone without ever breaking eye contact with the girl, “so you’ll do it?”

 

Pidge hesitated, she had to think it over. On the one hand, she would get out of going up to her grandparents’ house up in the freezing chill of Duluth. Pidge would be able to finally see where Lance grew up and possibly figure out what made him... well  _ him.  _ She would also get to avoid the lectures from all her aunts and uncles about “settling down” and being more “ladylike”. 

 

On the other hand, she would have to pretend to be dating someone. And that someone would be Lance.

 

Pidge looked away from Lance’s hopeful grin and over to Hunk, the Jiminy Cricket to her Pinocchio, the right to her wrong, and hoped he had an answer.

 

“I dunno, Pidge, I think you should do it. Lance’s mom is the world’s second best cook, and you know I don’t say that lightly.” Hunk shrugged, taking a bite of mashed potatoes and nodding at the girl.

 

Pidge looked over to Lance and sighed, what did she have to lose? “Alright, what the hell. I’ll fake date you, but you have to agree to my terms.” 

 

“Anything at all, babe,” Lance said with a wink.

 

“Rule one: you get five romantic gestures a day, such as: hand holding, cuddling, hugs, and -Heaven forbid- kissing. And no, they are not renewable each day, you get five. Rule two: you let me pick the music in the car at all times for eternity and rule number three: no falling in love with me.” Lance stuck his hand out, barely thinking over the rules before agreeing to them.

 

“Deal!”

 

Pidge rolled her eyes but grabbed the hand, giving it a firm shake. Lance pulled the hand closer to him and gave it a light kiss.

 

“That’s one, Pidgey.”

 

*******

 

The Saturday after finals the fake couple climbed into Lance’s blue car and began their three and a half hour drive to Saint George. 

 

The ride was uneventful, Lance explained to Pidge that it was just his mom’s family coming over so it was a smaller gathering and he gave her a list of names. None of which she had hopes to remember. He then reminded her of his siblings’ names and his parents’ names too. And Pidge recited them all back.

 

“Pidge, you’ve got this. You’ve gone over this three times. They’ll introduce themselves to you when we get there, You don’t need to memorize it.”

 

“Right, I know, I just want this to be convincing.”

 

The two then went over the details of their relationship, they decided to stick close to what they were familiar with, which was them being best friends and best memes at all times, with a splash of romance added for the fake dating. 

 

Finally Lance and Pidge arrived at Lance’s childhood home. Pidge looked at the two story house with a sprinkle of nerves in her chest, only now realizing what she was doing. She was meeting Lance’s family for the first time, in their house, she was surrounded by unfamiliar things and she didn’t have a real plan.

 

“Oh no, here we go. Shit, I am not prepared, I’m gonna look like a mess, I forgot how to talk, Lance this is so stupid, what’s your mom’s name again? Maria? And your dad is Paul, right? What if I mess up an-”

 

“Pidge, relax, and yes, Maria and Paul are their names.” Lance laughed, shutting his door and taking a few steps forward, then waiting for Pidge to catch up.

 

“Common, they can see us through the window.” Lance smiled, offering up his hand which Pidge gladly accepted, needing something familiar to cling to as she was led into Lance’s home, dreading the week ahead of her.

 

Before they opened the door, Lance turned to Pidge and smiled, “two things: this is one,” Lance gestured to them holding hands, bringing numbers back to Pidge in hopes to calm her down with something she was comfortable with. Math. 

 

“And don’t worry, this week is gonna fly by, you’ve got this.” Lance smiled and pushed the door open.

 

Lance was going to be right, that week was going to fly by, way faster than Pidge would expect, and by the end of the week, Lance would have broken all three rules. 


	2. The First Rule

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meet the family... well MOST of them. Also, Lance TOTALLY has to outdo his sister.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had lots of fun with this, but sorry it's so late??? College is hard??? Anywho, hope you don't mind my McClain family which may or may not be based on my own family gatherings (Maria goes out to you, mom).   
> Lance is the younger twin and Lacie will not let him forget that. J.R. is not Junior, it's Justin Robert. Other than that, have fun!

Lance swung the door open and shouted, “Mama? Dad? I’m home!”

 

Pidge could see a shorter woman with long brown curls half tied up. Her face was warm and her chocolate brown eyes were inviting.

 

“Lance! You’re back, oh and this must be the famous Pidge we’ve heard so much about!” The woman smiled warmly, wrapping the two college students in a bone-crushing hug that could put Hunk’s hugs to shame.

 

“Hello, it’s nice to meet you, Mrs.McClain,” Pidge smiled once she and Lance were released from the hug.

 

Mrs.McClain let out a laugh and patted Pidge on the shoulder, “honey, call me Maria!” Maria gave Pidge a welcoming smile before turning to lead the couple into the living room.

 

“Lance, you’re gonna stay with J.R. this week, and no arguments, Ray is going to be in your room with his wife and the twins.”

 

Lance began to protest, but was interrupted by several people throwing themselves at him. Pidge had gotten enough of a warning, what with the thunderous footfalls before the attack, to let go of Lance’s hand and jump out of the way as Lance was tackled to ground.

 

Lance let out a laugh that matched his attackers’, they must be his siblings. 

 

“Hey, monsters! Don’t break the boy, he just got here, go outside if you’re gonna rough house!” Maria scolded, laughing as her kids pulled themselves off of Lance quickly. 

 

“Lance look! I lost my tooth!” The smallest girl stated proudly, grinning largely to show off the missing tooth. 

 

Lance leaned in closer to the girl’s face, looking at the tooth that was in fact missing. He held his hand up, which the girl slapped enthusiastically. 

 

“Oh! Guys, this is my girlfriend, Pidge!” Lance straightened up and grabbed Pidge’s arm, tugging her closer to the group, grinning at the girl who stuck her tongue out at him. He laced their fingers together and smiled at his siblings.

 

“Pidge, this is Eliza, J.R. and that handsome devil over there is my twin Lacie,” Lance pointed to each kid individually. 

 

“Hi! Do you like dragons?” Eliza was the first to speak, smiling up at the girl with a lopsided grin. Her dark brown curls tied into messy pigtails and a pair of white bear ears resting on top of her head. 

 

Pidge smiled, “of course, who doesn’t?”

 

“Oh good, because you’re staying in my room and my room is full of dragons! I love dragons, so it would be pretty bad if you didn’t, otherwise we couldn’t stay up late talking about dragons!” 

 

“Young lady, you will do no such thing, you still have school this week,” Maria shooed the smaller girl away, most likely to go tidy up her room before Pidge brought her stuff in there. 

 

J.R. and Lacie also made their way to their rooms, snickering about something or other. 

 

“You two hungry?” Maria asked, leading the couple into the kitchen where an older man was sitting at the table making a sandwich. He looked up and smiled a large toothy grin when he saw who was in the kitchen.

 

“Dad! Told you I had a girlfriend!” Lance gestured to Pidge before plopping down in the seat next to his dad, making himself a sandwich. 

 

“I can see that! Tell me, did you find her at the pond, because she’s a catch!” 

 

Lance outwardly groaned, slapping mayonnaise on the bread, “dad no, don’t get her st-”

 

“Mr. McClain, are you eating tuna, because that compliment seems a bit fishy,” Pidge laughed, joining the duo at the table on Lance’s other side.

 

Lance’s dad’s eyes lit up at the response, shooting his wife an amazed look as he elbowed his son excitedly. 

 

“Lance, you didn’t tell us she was a comedic genius!”

 

“Pfft whatever, boost her ego, it’s the tallest part of her,” Lance cackled as Pidge gaped at him. 

 

Maria walked over and swatted Lance lightly over the head, scolding him for “not being nice” and telling him to apologize to Pidge. 

 

Lance rolled his eyes, finishing up the sandwich and handing it to Pidge with a wink, “sorry I called you short, babe.”

 

Pidge huffed but took the sandwich anyway, “sure you are.” She shoved a blush down as she ate the sandwich, surprised and pleased that Lance knew her well enough to make her favorite sandwich, and make it pretty well too.

 

The two spent the rest of the afternoon talking to his parents, who were actually pretty cool in Pidge’s opinion. They told the two the game plan for the visit, stay the week and celebrate Christmas Eve with the McClains before driving back down to Arizona to celebrate Christmas Day with the Holts. Maria and Paul made Lance promise to take Pidge out during their week while the kids were at school and see the sights. 

 

Soon enough, it was dinner time and all the kids came running back into the kitchen to help Maria and Paul fix up the meal.

 

“Lance, you and J.R. need to help your father with the chicken. Please make sure he doesn’t cut himself trying to impress you again.”

 

“That was  _ one  _ time, darling,” Paul laughed, winking at the two boys.

 

“Yes, one times too many,” Maria rolled her eyes, turning back to her youngest daughter and handing the girl a handful of silverware, “set the table, Eliza, ask Pidge to help you.”

 

Pidge looked up at the sound of her name, up until that point she had been standing off to the side, unsure of what to do in situations like this. Eliza came running up to her, grabbing Pidge’s hand with her free one and dragging her over to the table.

 

“Okay so you do this, and I’ll do the plates!” Eliza dumped the silverware on the table before scurrying off to grab plates for the table. 

 

Pidge began sitting the table, hoping she didn’t forget a family member as she set down forks and knives at seven spots. Eliza followed close behind, balancing the glass plates in one hand as she excitedly hopped from place to place, setting the plate down roughly on the table.

 

Once all the plates were on the table, Eliza raced back into the kitchen to grab some glasses and napkins. 

 

“Here! You can do the napkins!” Pidge took the napkins and followed Eliza as she hopped about, setting the glasses down roughly on the table. 

 

Soon after, the food was being rushed out by J.R. and Paul, Maria still directing each individual dish. Eliza took Pidge’s hand and sat the girl down at one of the seats, Eliza sitting down next to her.

 

“Do you watch cartoons too?” Pidge looked at Eliza, raising an eyebrow at the question.

 

“What?”

 

“Do you watch cartoons? Lance watches cartoons. And I watch cartoons, my favorite is We Bare Bears... or Adventure Time, I dunno yet.” Eliza smiled, fiddling with the headband on her head. 

 

The rest of the family sat down at the table, Lance to Pidge’s right and Eliza to her left. It was a simple meal, chicken, but it smelled delicious. 

 

Everyone joined hands once Maria was the last to sit, everyone, except Pidge. Pidge shot a confused glance over at her fake boyfriend who rolled his eyes and grabbed her hand, Eliza doing the same and holding on to Pidge’s hand a bit too tight. Did this count as a romantic gesture? Pidge didn’t know, she didn’t really know what was going on, but she wasn’t going to count it, maybe. 

 

It was a meal prayer, Pidge realized as everyone started saying “Dear Lord” and then kept going? Pidge didn’t know this meal prayer, or really any. The only time her family really did anything “religious” was going to the Easter Sunday service with her grandparents, her family really wasn’t religious. 

 

The prayer was over soon enough, everyone dropping hands and grabbing food, piling it onto their plates. Pidge followed Lance’s lead, taking a little bit of everything on the table. 

 

The meal went on for a while, everyone talking and catching up. Pidge stayed out of the conversation for the most part, watching it bounce from family member to family member.

 

Maria was the first one to leave the table, “alright, it’s getting late and you kids have school tomorrow. Clean up then get to bed.” 

 

All the kids groaned, but obeyed as they cleaned up the table, J.R. and Lacie doing the dishes as Eliza dragged Lance and Pidge to the table to put away the leftovers.

 

The siblings made quick work of the entire process, conversation light and teasing as they zipped about, putting dishes away or shoving food into containers. 

 

“Hey, what are you guys doing tomorrow?” Lacie asked, slinging her arm around Lance’s shoulders. She was about the same height as the lanky man, but she had muscle to boot. She was  toned and with her side cut and long face, Pidge found the girl a bit intimidating. 

 

Lance however, shoved the girl off with a playful smile, “dunno, maybe go to the mall? Last minute gifts? We haven’t actually decided.”

 

“Dude! Come to the mall with me and Kelly!” Lacie hopped up and down on her toes, grinning ear to ear. 

 

“Kelly? As in Kelly Hansen?” Lance gapped at the girl who just nodded excitedly. 

 

“What the heck are you doing hanging out with  _ Kelly?” _

 

“She happens to be my girlfriend!” Lacie seemed to be gloating, a giant smirk on her face as Lance groaned. Pidge elbowed him in the ribs and threw him a glare. 

 

“Well whatever, I’m not still mad, not at all, congrats, keep your hair close.” Lance huffed, pouting a bit as he walked off into the living room.

 

Lacie rolled her eyes, “he’s just upset that Kelly once cut off his hair.”

 

Pidge raised her eyebrows, eyes wide, “really?”

 

Lacie nodded, her eyes sparkling, “yeah! It was so bad that we had to give the poor boy a buzz cut.”

 

Pidge slammed her hands down on the table, “get out. For real?” She needed at least ten pictures of little Lance with a buzz cut. 

 

Lacie was about to speak when Lance cut her off, “Lacie, aren’t you supposed to, I dunno, go to bed? I mean, poor little Eliza has second grade in the morning, wouldn’t want to keep her past her bedtime.”

 

Lacie and Pidge snickered, leaving the dining room to meet Lance in the living room. He was still pouting, of course.

 

Pidge fought the urge to just leave him there, she was supposed to be dating him and don’t girlfriends comfort their boyfriends? She had no clue, but she saw it in that one movie Hunk made her watch. She trusted Hunk enough to go on a limb and say that’s what a good girlfriend should do. 

 

“Lance, stop pouting,” Pidge groaned, sauntering over to him and flopping her whole weight into his side. The act seemed to take Lance off guard, the boy swaying a bit as he instantly reached an arm around and held Pidge close, steadying himself. 

 

Lance looked down curiously at the girl, she looked up at him with a smirk. Lance seemed to catch on that there was an audience of one. But, the show must go on.

 

Lance smiled down at the girl sweetly, kissing the top of her head quickly before spinning her out of his hold and strolling away. 

 

“Sleep tight, babe, see you tomorrow!”

 

Pidge blushed a great deal, she did not expect that turn of events. She followed a laughing Lacie up the stairs and to the youngest McClain member’s room. 

 

The room was, indeed full of dragons. There were stuffed ones of all sizes, posters and art from various people and places, there were figurines and toy figures and there was even a cardboard cut-out of Toothless from the How to Train Your Dragon movies. How in the world did a seven year old get her hands on that?

 

Eliza was already in bed, reading one of the How to Train Your Dragon books by the time Lacie dropped Pidge off at the door. 

 

“Alright party animals, bedtime, Pidge, hope you’re a heavy sleeper, Eliza is freaking loud in the morning.” Lacie patted Pidge on the shoulder with a heavy hand. 

 

Pidge buckled under the weight for a moment, the girl was seriously strong. 

 

*******

 

The next day, Pidge did indeed sleep through Eliza’s morning routine and was surprised to find a nice little “good morning” note taped to her glasses. She smiled and grabbed the paper, slipping it into her suitcase for safe keeping before getting dressed quickly. 

 

She hurried down the stairs to see Lance and Lacie arguing about fruit loops at the table. 

 

She entered the dining room and plopped down in a chair next to Lance, stealing his cereal bowl from him.

 

“Hey!” Lance laughed, tugging the bowl back, “this is mine.”

 

Pidge rolled her eyes and dropped her forehead into his shoulder, then repeatedly banging it into his bony shoulder.

 

“Didn’t Hunk teach you to share?” Lance rolled his eyes but shoved the bowl back over, letting the girl pick at the small colored loops in the milk. 

 

“You two are weird,” Lacie chuckled, taking care of her bowl before returning to the table. 

 

Lance and Pidge finished picking at the fruit loops while Lacie texted the plans to meet at the south mall entrance to her girlfriend. 

 

After Lance took care of the bowl, he shooed the two girls out the door and into his car, speeding down the road toward the mall. 

 

They parked near the back of the parking lot, having gotten a late start to the day, they were lucky to get a spot at all.

 

Lance and Pidge followed Lacie’s excited half jog towards the entrance, holding back their snickers. The girl may be a buff tough girl with the hopes of being a gym teacher for high schoolers, but she was still a love sick dummy when it came to dating. 

 

Lacie ran as soon as she saw her girlfriend, scooping the smaller girl up in a bear hug, planting kisses on the girl’s cheeks. The other girl, Kelly, giggled and squirmed, trying to return the kisses but was laughing too much to make much of a difference. 

 

Lance stopped dead in his tracks, Pidge stopped and threw him a cautious look, she knew that look too well. It was the one Lance wore whenever Keith did something slightly better than him. It was the small fire in the back of his blue eyes, the furrowing of his perfectly trimmed eyebrows and the slight frown on his thin lips. It was his competitive look.

 

“Oh no, what are you planning?”

 

“Pidge, I know you had those rules, but,” Lance turned to Pidge and threw on a charmful, pleading look, “can we please break the three romance moves a day for the sake of being the alpha twin?”

 

Pidge threw her eyebrows up in shock, what the heck?! Another petty rivalry?! 

 

But, thinking about it, Pidge was the same way with her brother. The two of them were best friends, but they also were rivals, fighting for the attention at family gatherings, who had the most awards on the wall or the best grades on the fridge. She understood sibling rivalry. 

 

Pidge thought about it, she knew Lance would never push her boundaries, even the kiss from last night wasn’t a new thing. The boy had done that before, on movie nights where she started to get settled between her friends, surrounded by warmth and friendship. Lance always checked with his eyes, throwing an eyebrow up as if to ask, and she would nod if she was okay. He always checked in some way. She knew Lance wouldn’t take it too far, but what if she ended up getting used to the gestures, to the hand holding and the top-of-head kisses? When they got back to school, they would probably all stop. And if she was used to them, would she be okay with not having them anymore?

 

Pidge eventually sighed, biting back a smile. 

 

Lance could see the smile, bouncing on his feet, “is that a yes?”

 

“It’s a yes, but buy me food, I’m still hungry.” Pidge smiled as Lance cheered, picking her up and spinning her about.

 

“Done!” Lance laughed, setting the girl on her feet, but lacing their fingers together as they made their way to the other couple. 

 

The group spent the entire day getting last minute gifts, and trying to outdo how couple-y they could be. In Pidge’s opinion, Lance’s constant top-of-head kisses and constant whispering of memes in her ear had Lacie and Kelly beat, but maybe that was just her, she was enjoying herself  with the constant affection too much to actually care about the other couple. 

 

They eventually stopped for some food in the food court, Kelly and Lacie running off the get the food they wanted while Lance went to get food for him and Pidge. Pidge stayed at the table to watch their stuff and make sure they had a table. 

 

Lacie and Kelly were back first with their McDonald's, happily munching fries and having a little conversation between the two of them. Pidge stifled a yawn, she was having fun, but this much running around would tire anyone out. 

 

Lance returned quickly with Panda Express, food piled high and two drinks balancing on the edge of the tray. 

 

“Food! Eat, small child!” Lance set the tray down dramatically as he plopped down in the chair next to Pidge, grinning at the girl from ear to ear.

 

Pidge smiled just as wide and leaned over, planting a kiss on his cheek. After all, Lance isn’t the only one who can break her rules. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to @plagg on ao3, their pidgance stories are literally the best thing in this world go check them out omg, love you boof! And shout out to the pidgance discord chat, especially @madgrace on ao3 #momsquad   
> Find me @space-finn-land-lance or @askthe2memepaladins on tumblr and I'll be back soonish?

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on tumblr @the-majestic-space-pigeon or @askthe2memepaladins! Also, leave a comment if you wouldn't mind? Thanks a bunch and I'll see you in the next chapter!


End file.
